Some rambling about weight and other people’s opinions
Long time no see.
I wanted to make a post about myself, since it’s a blog and stuff. It’s just some thoughts I wanted to share with others.
Since my kritzkast interview, so much things have changed. I now live alone in a nice flat, my cat passed away, and I decided to change some stuff in my life.
I used to be a big fatass with no goal, until I looked at all the things I was missing being fat. I wanted to go walking with my friends for days, I wanted to be able to walk up stairs without being tired at the end, I wanted to bike, I wanted to do whatever I want to do.
Since around june, I started to run with some friends. Of course, it’s really hard when you’re basicly a couch potato (I wasn’t that fat, but I had muscles made of yogurt). One thing I hated was other people looking at me. I could feel the weight of those eyes probably mocking me for my weight.
One thing that cheered me up was even tho I didn’t run for really long, my friends were like “That’s nice, you’re doing well!”. This is why I kept on running, every time a little more, to the next junction, to the next tree, etc.
Until one day when I took the courage to look at other people’s eyes while running. Of course it wasn’t really a big move since I always wear sunglasses when running, but I wanted to see those looks, and to try to understand their thoughts about me, expecting mostly disgusted faces.
That’s when I understood that most people don’t care at all. But some of them see a fat guy running, and you can see on their faces that there’s sympathy, that there’s something inside them that’s like “yeah dude, you’re doing it right !” I don’t remember seeing people being disgusted.It’s incredible the things you can think of and how wrong you can be when you lack self confidence.
Now I like running in the park in sunny sunday afternoon. Tons of people means more eyes to look at. This is my new motivation.
So why should I even care about what people think about me ? Because that’s how we are, that’s how we think. We want other people to think well of ourselves. So next time you see fat people running with their hood down, looking ashamed, just smiles at them, thumb them up. Show them that you are supporting them ! You can make a huge difference.
It’s been 3 months now, I run every sunday with my friends. I’m still not able to complete a tour of the park (about 5km) in one go, I still have to finish it by walking. I only loose 7kg (6% of my bodymass !), but I know I won’t get them back.
But I gained so many new muscles I didn’t even know they existed, and I boosted my self confidence a lot. And I feel great.
Still 15kg to go, see you in 6 months !
Steam Workshop : Heads-Up Dismay
Steam Workshop :: The Right Way
cracked-dot-com-official asked: today i won a merc's muffler while playing on a trade server because a guy was like "i'll give a merc's muffler free to whoever can backstab this highlander pro soldier" and it was a hard fought battle adn when i finally did it i shouted over the mic and did my victory things and i considered trading it for a profit, but you know what. i earned it. i don't have any others. this is my merc's muffler and i'm keeping it.
This is a good decision you made!
joeshorts asked: Hey, I saw your fox-tie/deep-cover-operator on the TF2 Workshop, and I was just wondering if you have a SFM model for it?
It’s in the game, you can just load it directly i think?
I went to Budapest, and it was very cold. But I had my trusty scarf so everything when well.
Anonymous asked: I was gonna say awesome hair but then I read that you want it cut, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
But it’s like anime hair right now, it can’t be tamed.
archangelrenegade asked: you made the merc's muffler? dude thats so sweet.
Of course I did ! But I model way better than I knit :V
It’s quite a compliment that the creator likes it. I think we are both happy now.
(And I got permisson to knit and sell more and he won’t sue me. Hehe. xD)
I’m really happy, and I can’t wait to see it !